Defeated

Day 6

When the mind says "no", you can often rationalize to make it think differently.  But when the body says "no", it means it.

I got up at 5:45am, intent on going to yoga but when I got up, my head felt like a boulder, clogged like a drain, I knew it wasn't going to happen.  I went back to bed and got up 3 hours later to go to work.  It took a while to get myself ready and get to work.  I should've taken it as a sign.  I arrived at 10:30 and then went to lunch with my colleagues courtesy of my boss, and then left at 4:30.  By the time I got home, I felt miserable.  Drained and totally congested with a slight fever.  I slept for a few hours until The Husband came home, bearing my requests of orange juice, lemons, hot and sour soup from the Chinese restaurant, and Vicks vapor rub.

This whole illness is teaching me patience.  I'm not learning it well, believe me.  In my mind, I'm thinking of all the work that is piling up and all the doubles I'll need to do to catch up in the challenge.  Despite all the lying down I've done these past few days, my mind is quite anxious.

Relax your mind.  Realx your mind.  RELAX. YOUR. MIND.  Open your heart. 

That's what Alicia as she ends her bikram class as we lie in final savasana.  Right now, opeing my heart seems a lot easier than relaxing my mind. I know one thing.  My body has raised a white flag.  It has to rest and refuses to have it any other way.  No ifs, ands, or buts, about it.

Food & Travel, My Other Loves

Day 5

Had to stay home again today although by the afternoon, I felt like a semi-human being even though my head was totally clogged.  All hopes of doing yoga in the evening were dashed since there was just no hope breathing through my nose.

Why is it that really long, hot showers always makes you feel better even when you mostly don't?  The hot steam really loosened things up and I took the opportunity to clean out my nasal passages using my neti pot.  It definitely provided some relief. 

I watched alot of TV today, considering I rarely watch TV at all.  I zeroed in on one of my favorite channel  and watched my favorite cooks Giada De Laurentiis, Ina Garten (aka The Barefoot Contessa), and Tyler Florence whip up delectable dishes.  Now, if I could only have Giada's kitchen with Ina's garden, and Tyler cooking nightly for The Husband and I, well, that would be a dream come true!  Ok, fine.  I'll settle for Giada's kitchen and Ina's garden.  And btw, how ADORABLE are the Neelys?  I interspersed some of the food episodes were some travel shows, particularly Globe Trekker.  It reminded me of how much I really love love to cook and how I would love to host my own travel show.

Heading back to work tomorrow and determined to get back to the sweat box.  With that, I leave you with one of the four Hong Kong video that I made last year for TripFilms, which focused on food.

Watch more of my videos at Tripfilms.com

Cabin Fever

Day 4

Woke up with a throat the felt like a cat clawed at it.  Feel a little better today but decided to spare my colleagues my germs and terrible cough.  I'm proud that The Husband still went to 7am bikram without me.  Starting to get cabin fever folks.  Thank goodness there's hot tea, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and online episodes of Cranford at PBS Masterpiece to prevent me from going totally crazy.  All these Anglophilic amusements are suddenly making me want to visit England.

What the frak?!

Day 3

Well, I had a whole, eloquent post written and by the accidental press of a button on my keyboard, poof!  It's gone.  GONE!  I can't retrieve it and I'm too frakkin' frustrated right now to re-write what took me about 45 minutes to conjure.

Suffice it to say, my original post was about convalescing, not going to yoga for a second day, and feeling left out of the action.  I used the metaphor of a marathon race and how the start gun just fired and all of us, giddy with excitement were moving past the start line, eager to start the challenge, and how suddenly, I tripped.  I had to bend down and tie my shoelaces while the crowd left me behind in it's wake.  I  am happy for the rest of you who have completed three classes and it is such great fun reading your blog updates.  Nevertheless, I can't help but feel frustrated that I can only account for one class while everyone else is on their third or fourth.

Then I recounted about going with The Husband to church today in the bitter cold and how it sapped all my energy.  That's when I knew I wasn't back to my 100% strength.  With my hood up and head down, I held The Husband's arm and allowed him to lead the way without having to look up as we crossed streets and dodged people on the sidewalk.  Then it transitioned to the concept of trust and how it so nicely coincided with today's Feast of the Epiphany in church, where three wise men followed a star to Bethlehem and upon finding the baby Jesus, presented Him with gifts of gold, frankinsence, and myrrh.  Further explanations about the importance of trust and how the wise mean serve as examples of how trusting the process in our lives and in our yoga is good for us.  And there you have it.  My vanished post just haphazardly recreated with such disinterest and dismay.  Arrrrrrrgh!

Signing off now and hoping tomorrow, I am 100% better (and less cranky) to return to work and go back to yoga.  Peace out.

The Best Laid Plans

The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew

 - Robert Burns

Day 2

The plan was to go to 10am yoga and meet some of friends, one of whom was from out of town, at the Met to see the samurai exhibit.  For dinner, we would go to a Japanese yakitori for some beer and grilled goodies. 

Today, I woke up and said, "uh oh."  My body was achy and my throat sore.  I was fighting a bug since Wednesday and all the running around this past week finally caught up with me.  My body proclaimed its revolt.  I still toyed with the idea of attending the 10am bikram class but when I didn't feel better, I pushed it back to 12noon and then to 4:30pm.  The Husband thought I was insane.  "You have a fever!" he exclaimed, incredulous at my stubbornness or delusion, I couldn't tell.  "Do you want to rest today, get better so that you just miss one day of yoga or do you want to go, push yourself, get even more sick, and miss several days of yoga?" he asked.  He was my voice of reason and as I looked to my bedside table, I saw the signs -- a mug full of hot water, lemon, and honey; echinacea; cough drops; kleenex -- and knew he was right.  I acquiesced to staying in bed.

When my mind remained undecided, I felt restless.  Even though I was trying to get some rest in bed, I was anxious.  My mind raced.  You have to go to yoga.  You committed to going 101 days straight.  You can't quit now, it's only the second day.  You are not determined enough.  Think of the disappointment you'll feel if you don't go.  Those thoughts and all sorts of others whirled through my mind.  They came to a complete stop after I agreed to stay home.  After that, I finally managed to close my eyes and go to sleep.

The Latin word caedere means to cut, to kill.  English words that end in -cide have their root in caedere (my HS required us to take two years of Latin so thank you to all my Latin teachers for teaching me this fun fact).  The more widely known words are suicide, homicide, genocide, pesticide and fungicide.  There are hundreds more words that end in -cide but the one we practice daily in our lives and in our yoga is this one:  decide.  When we make a decision, other options become irrelevant.  Today, I decided to honor my body and give it the rest it deserves.  In doing so, I silenced my mind.

In bikram, we practice silencing our minds using pinpoint focus and breath.  We decide to let the teacher lead us.  We decide to stick a pose and commit to it.  We decide to listen to our bodies in order to go deeper or to back off.  We decide to find stillness in between postures.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed about not going to yoga today.  But I have decided to look on the bright side:  missing yoga today is an opportunity to do a double, something I have never done before.

A fresh start, a new beginning

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

- T.S. Eliot

Day 1

Happy New Year everyone!

I rolled out of bed 9:15am this morning, awoken by an alarm clock so that I could attend the only class offered by my nearby studio at 10am.  I slept at 2:30 this morning after a large meal of lots of noodles (pancit canton represented the Filipino variety and spaghetti for the Italian variety) for long life and round things (meatballs, brussel sprouts, mandarines, grapefruits, grapes, and pancakes -- yes they are flat but circular so I guess they count) for prosperity.  This is a Filipino tradition to ring in the new year that my family has done as early as I can remember and if The Husband and I are in town, we do it at our home and have my mother over.

With an unsettled stomach and sleep dust still in my eyes, I walked to the studio along a desolate street.  Remnants from the night's festivities remained -- firecracker paper, broken plastic new year's hats, trash.  "Please don't let me be the only one in class," I thought to myself as I looked around and saw no one.  Thankfully, I walked into the studio lobby and there was life.  Eight students were guided today by Caroline, a sweet teacher whose instructions were so clear that I all I could was completely entrust myself into her hands. 

My old knee injury decided to make its appearance at awkward pose, first set.  Halfway through the second part of awkward, I felt a sharp twinge and came out early and by the time we got to the third part, the most uncomfortable feeling in my knee (as if a huge air bubble was in there waiting to burst) admittedly scared me to go down no more than 3 inches.  I bit my lip, tried to let it go and tried to breath normally.  All I could do was stand there with my arms up and tight.  I wonder if it's my mind or my body telling me to back off when I get that uncomfortable "air bubble" feeling.  It's not sharp, acute pain but there is such immense pressure that my breath goes out of wack and that's my cue to back off.  Any thoughts out there fellow yogis?

During our long savasana as we transitioned between the standing and floor series, Caroline said, "while the rest of Astoria sleeps through their hangovers, you are here doing yoga."  I smiled.  I never did any kind of exercise on New Year's Day and it felt great to start the day, to start the new year with an activity that focuses on me.  There are many traditions I do for the near year like the midnight dinner or wearing polka dots (remember circles represent prosperity!).  Perhaps doing yoga could be a new tradition I add to the list.

A big dose of culture

My office is closed between Christmas & New Year!  This year, The Husband and I decided to stay home rather than travel overseas.  I am looking forward to my week off to recuperate and relax.  I already know how my week is going to shake out.  It's going to consist of bargain shopping, reading, bikram yoga, baking, and museum visits!  There are soooo many awesome exhibits in NYC right now (below is a list of what I want to see) and I'm excited to catch up on my culture.  Will let you know what I think from each visit.

American Museum of Natural History [AMNH]
Traveling the Silk Road: Ancient Pathway to the Modern World

Brooklyn Museum
James Tissot: 'The Life of Christ'

Guggenheim
Kandinsky

Morgan Library & Museum
A Woman's Wit: Jane Austen's Life & Legacy

Museum of Modern Art [MOMA]
Bauhaus 1919-1933: Workshops for Modernity
Monet's Water Lilies
Tim Burton

Whitney Museum of American Art
Georgia O’Keeffe: Abstraction

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

May the joy of the season be present in your hearts and lives today and always!

Christmas with my sweet hubby & one of my presents: a plush sea otter!!

In the background is a parol, which represents the star of Bethlehem.

Parols are a staple decoration during the Christmas season in the Philippines.

There's a New Studio in Town!!!

OH. MY. GAWD.  My jaw dropped weeks ago when I saw a sign and banners come up out of nowhere in my neighborhood.  My neighborhood!  Hooray!!  There's a bikram studio is open in Astoria, Queens!  I couldn't believe it.  The studio is just a short walk from my house!!  Now I will know what it feels like to simply walk to my studio rather than commute to one via subway, which I do now.

I think the opening of this studio became a major reason for participating in the bikram 101 challenge.  While it is easy to get to my regular studio in Manhattan during the week because of work, it is a bit of a hassle on the weekends when I don't need to go into the city.  Now, I can easily practice on the weekends without having to worry about a 25 minute commute.  It is often longer on the weekends because the subways get re-routed or delayed.

I learned that the owner/director is Jim Kallet, a senior bikram instructor who owns a studio in San Diego.  From the online schedule, I saw that he was teaching the 10am class so I went.  He happened to be running late so class started with another instructor.  By time we reached awkward pose, he took over.  He was a great teacher; encouraging yet calm.  After eagle pose, he took the time to explain to us what it means to lock the knee.  He stuck out his right leg and straightened it while explaining that his leg was not locked because the muscles above his knee were slack.  Then he pointed to his kneecap and said, "Watch what happens to my kneecap when I lock my knee."  And ever so slowly, he tightened his quadricep and his knee cap rose as if in slow-motion.  His thigh muscle became more defined.  It was so beautiful watch as I have never seen a teacher so clearly demonstrate what it means to "lock the knee".

Jim giving a seminar.

Photo is courtesy of Bikram Yoga Paradise Valley in Pheonix, AZ.

By the time we got to the right side of triangle, he kept encouraging me to keep rotating my torso and my neck so that the profile of my face faced the mirror.  Afterwards, he asked if I had a tighter right side.  I nodded my head.  During the spine strengthening series' savasanas, my neck muscles always feel tighter when I put my right ear on the floor.  Left ear, no problem.  I guess he also heard from Nancy, the studio manager, that I was doing the 101 challenge and confirmed it during class.  Then he talked about the benefits of doing bikram for 100 days straight and how this yoga is the "Key to the Kingdom of Health".

You'll definitely be hearing more from me about this studio as I intend to practice here on the weekends!

Bikram Yoga in Astoria, Queens
32-03 Steinway Street (at Broadway)
Astoria, NY  11103
718-777-YOGA
http://www.bikramyogaqueensny.com/

Bikram 101 Challenge

The Husband thinks I'm insane. Mind you, he recently joined me and started doing bikram yoga. He's been at it for about 2 months, three days a week (he emphatically stated that 3 days a week was enough for him...and he doesn't want me blogging about his progress so I'm going to respect his wishes and restrain from commenting about his practice). As a married couple, we journey together in life and I was absolutely thrilled when he decided to join me in the sweat box and stick to it. But I'm on my own on this challenge. He will cheer and support me from the sidelines.

Since I started practicing back in March, I've been wanting to do a 30 day challenge, where one practices bikram once a day for 30 days straight. I never got around to committing and then through thedancingj's blog, I discovered she and a few other bikram yogis are organizing a Bikram 101 challenge. They are so inspiring and so on top of things! They have created a website, a facebook page, and a twitter account.

There is no way I would've embarked on this commitment alone. And even though I am fretting just a teensy weensy bit about going 101 days straight, I am comforted by the fact that so many others around the world will be doing this with me and that the cyberspace will house the community of participating yogis. 

Why 101 days?  Read all about the reasons here.  I could definitely use physical and emotional healing and I think it's a great way to start the new year!  I look forward to the commitment and the discipline it will take to fulfill this challenge.  By the time the challenge will be done, I would've celebrated another birthday.  It would be a great gift to myself and I was inspired by Charlie, another bikram yogi who did a 60 day challenge that ended right on his 60th birthday.

In typical Aries fashion, as if 101 straight days of bikram isn't enough, I've decided to blog about it and do something akin to Flickr's 365Days Project, where you take a self-portrait every day for 365 days straight.  Instead of 365 days, I'm going to only do 101 days, in conjunction with the bikram challenge.  I was inspired to do this by i love sweat's blog who always starts his posts with a picture.

So wish me luck folks!  I will need it as well as your encouragement, your support, and good cheer!